Our mental well-being has been a topic of multiple articles of which one introduced us to two specific approaches to psychological wellbeing – Eudaimonic and Hedonic. We have discussed both approaches more than once, where we reflected on positive relations with others, our sense of purpose and growth, autonomy and environmental mastery. Today, we are focussing on the final pillar – self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is such a foreign concept to some, as it expects the individual to accept, love, appreciate and nurture themselves. Yes, recognising the value of self – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Why is it so difficult for us to reach this level of self-care: accepting everything that we are, recognising shortcomings, but more importantly, embracing our uniqueness? It is suggested that we struggle with this aspect because we tend to hide, neglect and reject the parts that we find unacceptable, forgetting that this is what makes us unique. This does not mean that we cannot work on weaknesses and have to give up on them. No, it simply means that you do not get emotionally attached to your weaknesses – you learn how to accept them and how to build better habits related to them.
Why is self-acceptance important? It is fundamental to our mental health and holistic wellbeing. Let us have a look at some reasons why these are so.
It helps control our emotions
A lack of self-acceptance can limit your capacity for happiness which could lead to emotional outbursts because of the continuous feelings of anxiety, stress or anger. Negative thoughts create negative emotions.
It helps you forgive yourself
Acceptance teaches you to be less self-critical. It helps you to create compassion for yourself and provides a balanced view of yourself. Being unforgiving could force you into a cycle of doubt and conflicting thoughts which could cause a sense of hopelessness.
It helps with self-confidence
Acceptance allows you to see your less appealing qualities as PART of you and not the ONLY part of you – they do not define your worth.
Self-confidence allows you to take action even if you have fears and are trying to restrict them. Low self-confidence could hinder our drive to accelerate our life goals and dreams. Furthermore, allowing failure to be a teachable moment is possible with self-confidence which provides a higher sense of independence.
It leads to self-compassion
Self-compassion reflects our ability to show kindness and care to ourselves. It changes our narrative – how we speak to ourselves, how we care for ourselves and how we tend to cultivate our resilience.
It helps you be yourself
A lack of self-acceptance – as discussed before – sets a cycle of repressing your true self by trying to hide your ‘shortcomings’ by overcompensating in other areas of your personality. What a waste of energy, right? Self-acceptance helps you show up authentically without worrying about judgments from others.
Self-acceptance is a lifelong journey and certainly something that we need to work on every day. Like any other relationship in our lives, we need to put actions in place to guide our efforts towards accepting the person that we are. Some practices toward self-love could include the following:
Practising gratitude
Imagine that you have to wake up tomorrow with only the things you expressed gratitude toward today. What would your day look like OR how will you express your gratitude differently? Practising gratitude is good health, like ensuring you get the right vitamins and minerals daily. It is good mental health practice. Change your narrative to see the silver lining in everything that you experience – it takes practice, but it is worth it!
Reframe your negative thoughts
Revisit the article we published about positive thoughts (Staying positive) and train your brain to change your negative thoughts to positive ones.
Choose your support system
Who has your back and will support you – not because they need something from you, but because they want to see you succeed. Those people are your support system. Surround yourself with people who appreciate and value you.
Forgive yourself
“To err is human…” Everybody makes mistakes. Not everybody allows themselves to learn from their mistakes AND forgive themselves for making them. Think about it this way – if you allow yourself to learn from a mistake and that lesson ensures growth, was it a mistake or was it divine intervention? Remember, you did what you thought was right at the moment with the facts that were presented to you. Could you have done it differently? Maybe? That’s how you learn. Be grateful for the lessons, they are a blessing.
Sometimes, we are so focused on being kind to others, caring for our families, looking after our communities and nurturing our relationships that we completely forget who is doing all of that. Surely, you deserve to tell yourself “well done” every once in a while. You deserve it.
