In this article, we will elaborate on social wellbeing. Social wellbeing refers to having, developing and sustaining meaningful relationships with others. It refers to our sense of belonging to a community and contributing to society.
But, what does it mean to achieve social wellbeing? If I prefer my own company, does this mean that I am not socially adapted? Or, if my work prevents me from spending time with other people (because perhaps I work night shift and over weekends), does this mean that I am jeopardising my health because I am not as socially active as expected? Or, if I am single and do not have any dependants, does it mean that I am not socially adapted? We will explore what it means to achieve social wellbeing and reflect on the importance of relationships and why we need to maintain them.
What does it mean to achieve social wellbeing?
Good social wellbeing refers to not only having relationships but also behaving appropriately within these relationships. It reflects maintaining positive relationships within acceptable social standards. Social wellbeing is linked to a sense of belonging and social inclusion.
It also links closely to social intelligence factors like emotional intelligence, the ability to adapt and to cultivate trust. It is also assumed that social wellbeing is closely linked to our lifestyles, value systems, beliefs and traditions because these drive our choices of whom we connect with.
Simply put, social wellbeing revolves around who we invite into our lives and (most importantly) who we allow to add value to it (because we do not always have control over who we work with, but we have control over how we choose to allow those relationships to develop and ultimately add value to our lives).
Such a mouthful, right? What is ‘appropriate’ behaviour and ‘acceptable’ social standards, and who decides that? In some instances, it is decided for us. At work, for example, policies and procedures state what social standards are and what appropriate behaviour looks like. We also do not choose our families, but a family unit establishes traditions, beliefs and value systems that you can either accept and follow (or not).
In our personal lives, we have power to decide. Once we understand the influence specific relationships have on our social (and therefore mental) wellbeing, and assess which relationships have value, we decide on the time and effort we put into those relationships. Isn’t that just glorious?
So, if we have the power to decide, how do we do that? At school or during our formative years we were labelled as ‘popular’ and or ‘unpopular’ according to the amount of ‘friends’ we had. Surely, we have grown beyond that?
A meaningful relationship
We have stated before that human beings are social creatures and we need to love and be loved. We need to feel connected (have a sense of belonging) and want to share our experiences with others. The relationships we nurture should provide a sense of security, a place where we are comfortable to share thoughts, feelings and experiences without threat – whether the threat is layered in fear of judgement, rejection, ridicule or anything that adds anxiety to our lives.
So, when is a relationship meaningful? When it is meaningful to you and adds value to your health.
At work, for example, you are in social relationships which require productivity. You don’t need to like someone to be able to work with them. It’s a professional environment and you cannot choose your colleagues. What you can choose is how you interact with your colleagues to secure healthy professional relationships.
When a colleague, therefore, adds meaning to your professional environment (like reviewing your work and giving you advice on how to improve) they are part of your professional development. That relationship is adding value to your social wellbeing. You might never be their friend in a personal capacity but you maintain a social relationship reflecting acceptable behaviour and according to the acceptable social standards of the organisation.
Does this mean you are ‘fake’ and present a front in your work relationship? Yes and no. No, because it means that you use emotional intelligence to differentiate between having an emotional reaction to what someone in the workplace says or does and not allow that emotional reaction to overpower your decision-making ability (or response). And yes, because you are preventing yourself from having a reaction that does not support the social standards of the organisation.
Should you care that people at work think you are pretending? That is your choice, you know what adds value to your development and overall mental wellbeing. Therefore, it’s your power and your decision.
Your social wellbeing can only be assessed, analysed, established and maintained by yourself. You have to establish who you allow to add value to your wellbeing, you have to assess, for example, if you want multiple friends and friendship circles or whether a handful of friends are what supports your wellbeing.
You decide which relationships are worth your time, energy and space. Ask yourself continuously: why is this one and that group in my life? How do they add value? And if your answer is “because they make me laugh” (and that is acceptable to you), then that is acceptable to you. But if your answer is: “I don’t know,” then you have some decisions to make. Your choice, your power, your mental health.
And how do we add value to others’ social wellbeing? Now that is an even bigger question. One that we will deal with in next week’s article.
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